Halloween! Bah humbug?

     Yes, it is that time of year.  A few days from now all the children in the neighbourhood, save for a few poor souls with extreme religious backgrounds (don't worry kids, the rest of us are going to hell) will be donning their favourite superhero costume or, as is more likely the case, in this day and age, their favourite teenage pop star costume, and going door to door to ask for candy as that is what their parents did when they were young.  Of course I also took part when I was a kid.  Anyone who was willing to walk around on a cold October evening wearing nothing but an ill-conceived plastic shell labelled "Spiderman" deserved the bag of loot he brought home!  This night was amazing!  All you have to do is ring the bell and candy was yours!  No stupid tricks involved.  It was just a thing you said.  And believe me, thanks to the youthful Boyle genes, I managed to continue this tradition until I was 17.  Of course, because I was canvassing the same neighbourhood for the last 4 years, some people were starting to remember me and kindly suggested I was getting too old.   Once you get to that age where you are no longer welcome on the doorsteps of your neighbours holding out an empty shopping bag demanding free candy, you turn to the Halloween party.  Where all guys, at some point, dress up as women, and all women turn regular costumes more fun by adding the word 'slutty' to the title.  

     Halloween at our house was a bit different as poor old dad was born on this special day and, as one can imagine, didn't appreciate celebrating his birthday every year by answering the doorbell every few minutes to shell out candy to ungrateful kids who were probably also getting too old to be trick or treating!  So some years I was left to fend for myself and that is where I learned that turning off the lights and hiding in your room watching movies was the best way to go.  Yes, I lived in one of THOSE houses.  I guess I learned to enjoy avoiding the hassle.  Living in an apartment now means no trick or treaters.  I suppose I don't completely hate that.

     I can see it all.  20 years from now, I'm living in a tiny house on a quiet street.  Minding my own business for most of the year.  And then, one fall evening in October, three ghosts will visit me.  The ghost of Halloween’s past, present and future.  It'll be such a life-changing experience that in the morning I rush to the window and throw money down to the first kid I see and tell him to buy the biggest pumpkin he's ever seen!  Then again, I might just shut the window, turn the lights off, and assume it was a dream, the result of some underdone pumpkin pie.  Don't bother me... I think The Simpson's Halloween episode is on.